It’s been a normal, rather dull Tuesday. I worked, I worked out (well, actually, that isn’t quite normal yet), I ran some errands. Dull, mundane, been-there, done-that. But my night has been quite interesting!
My friend invites me over for a movie. Now, generally I stay home and go to sleep early on the weekdays. But today I thought to myself, “Dammit Hayley! You are young! You are young and alive! Don’t give up on yourself just yet! Watch a flipping movie after 8–get crazy!” Turns out I can be quite convincing so I drove on over to my amigo’s place with a big bowl of Caesar salad in tow.
Nota bene: my friend used to be one of the “fitness consultants” at my old gym. He was always my favorite and we’ve reconnected since I switched gym memberships and he found a new job. He lives conveniently right across from this gym, in a house with 3?4? other people–all much older. My favorite roommate hands down is Tom, a 60 something day trader who literally has different women coming in and out of the house all the time (I’ve actually witnessed this!!) It’s a … colorful living situation. Now back to the story!
I show up with this salad and the first thing I notice is that everyone seems totally out of it. My amigo is drinking water through a paper towel to cure his hiccups. Tom is in the process of making burgers with a vodka/guava juice in one hand. Some woman is sitting staring at Jeopardy with her hair covering her eyes (creepy!) I just thought maybe everyone was already drunk–give me a drink too then, gosh darn it!
In my defense, I had only planned on eating this salad as a jump start into my new healthy eating plan. I definitely enjoyed that salad. Along with the cheese burger and watermelon that somehow ended up on my plate. No judgement!!
Amigo and I started to watch Dark Skies. If you’ve never seen or heard of it, that’s probably a good thing. *SPOILER ALERT* I’m not big on alien invasion but I wanted the thrill of a scary flick. I sailed through my meal but amigo kind of looked lost in his seat. Finally I realized that he was on something and it was having a strong effect on him. He was totally lethargic. He asked for the time and when I told him it was 9, he was so convinced and shocked that it was already 9 am. *Face palm*. He proceeded to fall asleep in a not so quiet fashion. Meanwhile, I was leaning closer and closer to the television trying to hear about the aliens while he moaned not so gracefully in his sleep. I was forced to wake him up and let’s just say he was rather shocked to see me. Hehehehe.
So now it’s dark outside, my friend’s drugged up, and I am now officially regretting this movie. My personal safety against extraterrestrials is now being questioned.
It didn’t help that when I got home I realized that everyone else is out for the night. Perfect. I am alone and my only weapons are my words and I don’t think that will ever work against E.T.’s crazy cousins. Though, when I think about it, not working out might actually work out to my favor. I might actually be too heavy or pudgy for the aliens to get on their ship. They might end up realizing I am not worth all the energy. So there you have it folks–the morals of this story:
1) Caesar salad is best left at home for consumption
2) Never watch a scary movie if your friend has take anti-anxiety medication
3) Exercise might give you that six pack, but will it save you from aliens? Actually, don’t answer that.